1
00:00:01,929 --> 00:00:03,570
Benvenuto a Londra.

2
00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:08,489
Benvenuto a Londra. I thought the whole
point of him coming here was to speak

3
00:00:08,490 --> 00:00:09,540
English.

4
00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:13,449
I am trying to make him feel at home,
just because you can't speak a word of

5
00:00:13,450 --> 00:00:14,500
Italian.

6
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:15,720
Excuse me.

7
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:25,710
What lovely.

8
00:00:25,711 --> 00:00:28,149
Don't stick your chewing gum on the
toilet seat.

9
00:00:28,150 --> 00:00:30,469
It's written on the wall of the hospital
when we're out there on a school

10
00:00:30,470 --> 00:00:31,329
geography trip.

11
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,010
Why do I always get the salt straw?

12
00:00:33,011 --> 00:00:37,089
Jamie Harrison gets some aged tennis
player from Milan, and I get the train

13
00:00:37,090 --> 00:00:38,140
spotter.

14
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,170
You are David?

15
00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:52,750
Fabrizio. Sorry, we were looking for
someone glasses.

16
00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:54,150
Now I have lentils.

17
00:00:54,490 --> 00:00:55,540
This is Mum.

18
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,170
Benvenuto a Londra.

19
00:00:57,770 --> 00:00:58,870
Grazie, signora.

20
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:01,300
And that's it.

21
00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:08,970
Is it possible you excuse me one moment,
please?

22
00:01:13,350 --> 00:01:15,509
Is that

23
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:21,610
your friend?

24
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:24,430
No, I met her just now in customs.

25
00:02:04,109 --> 00:02:05,210
Hang on a minute.

26
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:07,240
What's that smell?

27
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,420
Cholesterol.

28
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:17,569
Not for either of you. It's for
Fabrizio. You're there. I'll bring your

29
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,890
flakes through in a minute.

30
00:02:18,891 --> 00:02:20,029
That's discrimination.

31
00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:22,689
It's called looking after our guests.
He's probably never had a full English

32
00:02:22,690 --> 00:02:23,740
breakfast before.

33
00:02:23,741 --> 00:02:24,769
Neither have we.

34
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,910
And look at the pair of you, honestly.

35
00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:29,250
Bob Geldof makes more of an effort.

36
00:02:29,251 --> 00:02:32,569
Someone's been in the bathroom for the
past hour.

37
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,389
Is he still in there? What's he doing?

38
00:02:34,390 --> 00:02:36,860
Snooker's training a dolphin, by the
sound of it.

39
00:02:36,861 --> 00:02:39,829
Well, it's nice to have someone around
the house that laughs. You take the

40
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:40,880
in their appearance.

41
00:02:41,201 --> 00:02:43,169
Good morning.

42
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:45,030
Hello, Fabrizio. How are you feeling?

43
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,850
Oh, I am very exciting.

44
00:02:46,851 --> 00:02:48,239
I see.

45
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,980
Well, come and sit down. You're here.

46
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,480
Did you sleep all right?

47
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,060
No. Oh?

48
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,660
I hear a sound in the night.

49
00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:58,400
It wakes me up. What sort of sound?

50
00:02:58,780 --> 00:02:59,839
It's like a...

51
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:06,140
squeaking.

52
00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,110
Squeaking?

53
00:03:08,260 --> 00:03:10,850
Let's see. He's in Jen's room, which is
next to yours.

54
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,320
Did you two hear a mouse? No, not at
all.

55
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:16,240
Would you like a... How did the...
Squeaking love.

56
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:18,140
Only two, three minutes.

57
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:21,320
Come on, it was at least half an hour.

58
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,020
Can we change the subject?

59
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,200
Well, Fabrizio, what do you think of
London so far?

60
00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:33,360
I think London is very... Ah.

61
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,260
Depressing and... Oogly?

62
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,730
Oogly?

63
00:03:38,731 --> 00:03:41,959
Well, it's right, really, when you come
to think of it. I mean, you fly into

64
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,130
Heathrow, what's the first thing you
see?

65
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,250
Us.

66
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,410
He'd panel the M4 in an hour at Quick
Fit, fitting a new exhaust.

67
00:03:49,411 --> 00:03:50,619
Hang on, mate.

68
00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:54,099
I'll point you to that new B andQ and the
Peugeot dealership at the end of North

69
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,150
Circular.

70
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,459
David, you'd better show him some of the
sights today.

71
00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:59,799
Don't worry. I've got the whole
programme worked out.

72
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,020
And it's not to include Brentford
Bowles, Sega World or Burger King.

73
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:08,980
Show him some of our heritage.

74
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,100
What, you mean all the boring stuff?

75
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,870
Well, if it wasn't boring, it wouldn't
be our heritage.

76
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,940
So what's your dad do then, Fabrizio?

77
00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:20,279
My father, he's, uh... Just give us a
rough idea.

78
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:22,280
Who's the beefcake?

79
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:23,690
He's 18.

80
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,810
All right, real men.

81
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:26,680
This is Fabrizio.

82
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,740
Rona. No, Napoli.

83
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,730
It's my name.

84
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:33,860
Rona lives over the road.

85
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:35,720
That's good. Very good.

86
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,280
With her boyfriend.

87
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,480
Do I? Oh, yes.

88
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:42,240
He's called Tony. He's very jealous.

89
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,180
No, he's a pussycat, actually.

90
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,750
Come into the kitchen. I'll give you
something to dull your senses.

91
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,900
What? Our instant coffee.

92
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,420
So what did you come over for?

93
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,730
Oh, that.

94
00:04:54,940 --> 00:05:00,539
Well, it's almost exactly three years to
the day since I first asked Tony for a

95
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,590
sample of his sperm.

96
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,700
Doesn't time fly when you're in love?

97
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,740
What? I want to do something really
special for the anniversary.

98
00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:12,570
Try and get some of the romance back.

99
00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:16,390
Where did Ben last take you for a
romantic outing?

100
00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:21,189
Chessington. Fourteen goes on Rameth's
revenge, followed by an intimate lunch

101
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,510
Rocky Raccoon's Rib Shack.

102
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:26,970
Is it possible you hit me? I always have
cappuccino.

103
00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:29,910
Cappuccino? Right, fine, no problem.

104
00:05:30,190 --> 00:05:32,510
Oh, and my shirt in my suitcase.

105
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:36,830
Is it possible you... Iron, I see.

106
00:05:36,831 --> 00:05:38,729
I collect this afternoon, please.

107
00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:39,780
Oh, right.

108
00:05:41,370 --> 00:05:46,170
What would you do in Italy for a special
romantic anniversary?

109
00:05:46,610 --> 00:05:48,050
Ah, a beautiful restaurant.

110
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:53,450
The best wine, the best food, most
important, music.

111
00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:54,720
Oh, right.

112
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,450
When was the last time you had sex?

113
00:05:56,451 --> 00:05:59,169
Good. Well, there you are then. You go
back up there and I'll bring you a

114
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:00,509
cappuccino when it's ready.

115
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,089
Since you asked, it was last night.

116
00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:03,140
Last night?

117
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:07,769
It's better to do in the morning. You
know, when you wake up, when the body is

118
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:08,820
fresh.

119
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:10,730
Then, every day.

120
00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:13,280
Any chance for a bit of bread to dip in
his egg?

121
00:06:13,630 --> 00:06:16,990
In your dreams? Don't say we should have
sex every morning.

122
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:18,300
Si.

123
00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:21,900
Listen, you've got to cook breakfast. I
wouldn't push it.

124
00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:34,410
Excuse me, is it possible you make more
frothy for me?

125
00:06:34,730 --> 00:06:36,270
You want it more frothy?

126
00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:37,840
Frothy.

127
00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:41,389
Well, it'll have to wait till I've
finished ironing your shirt.

128
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:43,790
You know, you are very beautiful.

129
00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:46,100
For your age.

130
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:52,329
In my part of Italy, so many women, once
they have children, they... How you

131
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:55,290
say? They give up on life, they become
old.

132
00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:56,740
You must not, eh?

133
00:06:56,890 --> 00:07:00,709
Well, I was going to a whiff drive at
the Derby and Joan Club later, but

134
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,090
I'll give it a miss after all.

135
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,330
Evening, Fabrizio.

136
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,650
Evening, Mr Porter.

137
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,840
He's done it again.

138
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:39,640
What? He's got my chair.

139
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,150
He's on the sofa.

140
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,580
He's got my bit in the sofa.

141
00:07:42,581 --> 00:07:46,539
What's it at the other end, then? He's
got the best view of the telly. He's got

142
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:47,980
a coffee table in front of you.

143
00:07:47,981 --> 00:07:51,319
He's got your remote controls on the
right -hand side and your left -hand

144
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,510
straight to fish out the popcorn from
underneath the cushions.

145
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,580
He's been hogging it all week.

146
00:07:58,700 --> 00:07:59,840
And he's had the toilet.

147
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,620
Oh, I know how to get rid of him.

148
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,630
I'll get out the England v Italy
football tape.

149
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:12,450
His little eyes will light up. He'll get
up to put it in the machine and bam,

150
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:13,570
I'm in there.

151
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,340
I'm finding strange but true.

152
00:08:40,341 --> 00:08:42,859
We've got an Italian who's not
interested in football.

153
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:45,180
Oh, calm down. He's only here till
Sunday.

154
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:47,660
Oh, I get it.

155
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,640
What? He's been buttering you up, hasn't
he?

156
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,439
They've got nothing to do with it,
although I must admit it was a very

157
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,970
surprise. He went all the way to 9
Elmstead, though.

158
00:08:57,060 --> 00:09:02,419
Oh, I don't know. Frothy cappuccinos,
shirt, fried breakfast. Next thing you

159
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,650
know, you'll be giving him breakfast in
bed.

160
00:09:08,110 --> 00:09:10,940
the weather this morning, so I... Oh,
look, the sofa's free.

161
00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:30,680
Don't want it now.

162
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:35,290
Where's he gone, anyway?

163
00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:06,019
That is just superhuman. If I took the
car, I'd get microwaved. Well, that's

164
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,610
He's gone too far. I mean, that is the
lion in the sand.

165
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,100
Machina bellissima. Beautiful car.

166
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,020
Now, listen here, Fabrizio. And I make
full tank and full body wax.

167
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:18,070
Eh? Oh, right. And I tune engine. It'll
go better now, eh?

168
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,600
Oh. You were saying?

169
00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:21,279
Oh, it's all right to take half?

170
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,330
David tell me it's OK.

171
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,420
What? Machina stupenda.

172
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,650
I didn't.

173
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,490
I said any time you want to go for a
drive, you can ask.

174
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,310
I didn't mean he could drive.

175
00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:34,209
Oh, well, there's obviously been a
misunderstanding. Let's drop it. How is

176
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:37,610
sightseeing? Well, we saw the changing
of the guard.

177
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,610
Is okay.

178
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:43,450
Westminster Abbey is okay.

179
00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:45,140
Not interested.

180
00:10:45,141 --> 00:10:48,009
What about the Tower of London? He
prefers Tower Records.

181
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:49,749
I just think he wants to go shopping.

182
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,130
Please, is there a problem?

183
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:55,010
Fabrizio, be honest. Has it all been a
bit boring for you so far?

184
00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:56,850
Well, you'll find it under Y.

185
00:10:58,130 --> 00:10:59,180
Yes, but...

186
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,360
It's not your fault.

187
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:05,469
David showed me many nice things, but
it's a bit old -fashioned, touristy.

188
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:06,910
would you prefer, Fabrizio?

189
00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:09,610
I want to experience cool London.

190
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,560
Why don't you stuff a cornetto down your
trousers?

191
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:16,390
Maybe tomorrow we go out again together,
and I make a plan.

192
00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:17,549
Oh, great.

193
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:19,169
But can I bring my girlfriend along?

194
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:20,310
You have a girlfriend?

195
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,980
Excellent.

196
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,050
Ta -da!

197
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,120
Oh, that's nice. Bung them over there.

198
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,650
I wouldn't want to wait at the Texaco
garage for them.

199
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,070
Oh, no, don't. Oh, come here. Oh, Ben,
no!

200
00:11:48,071 --> 00:11:51,179
Oh, it's all right when he does it. No,
it's not that. It's just I was scooping

201
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:52,980
a bit of fat out of the waste disposal.

202
00:11:59,431 --> 00:12:04,219
Hulk Hogan T -shirt with a bit of
congealed pizza.

203
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:07,819
We went to Bond Street, Fabrizio knew
his shop and got them to open a credit

204
00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:08,839
card account for me.

205
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,720
A credit card account?

206
00:12:10,721 --> 00:12:11,639
It's OK.

207
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,300
Got to label to pay. Let's go.

208
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:16,430
Hi, Maxine.

209
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:20,180
I feel a lot of tension in the astral
plane.

210
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,670
There's quite a lot in the living room
as well.

211
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:23,970
Fabrizio!

212
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:26,630
This is my girlfriend, Maxine. I told
you about her.

213
00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:29,320
Maxine. I feel we have met before.

214
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,160
Quite possibly, were you ever in ancient
Egypt.

215
00:12:33,780 --> 00:12:37,220
I would travel to the ends of the earth
for such a beautiful woman.

216
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,200
My God, she smiles.

217
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,700
Come on, we'd better go.

218
00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:47,959
Just a minute, what time is... You know,
the way Fabrizio looked at Maxine took

219
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,160
me right back to Florida.

220
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,540
Florida? That alligator that kept
watching our picnic.

221
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,330
You ring a bell?

222
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,360
What? We've got the place to ourselves.

223
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:58,990
So we have.

224
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,130
Good, it's eerie.

225
00:13:00,131 --> 00:13:03,519
It's Alice, and it's free. Do you know
what I want to do?

226
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,630
Stick your chewing gum to the toilet
seat.

227
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:06,790
Sit down over there.

228
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,060
F. Scarpetta.

229
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:17,970
My God!

230
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:22,860
Viva Gold, Diners Club, Mastercard, Amex
Platinum.

231
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:25,260
Just one, Carmen!

232
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:43,439
chocolate dream he's behind me

233
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:50,299
isn't he thank you very

234
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,350
much

235
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,170
It's late. You're in kind for live and
kicking.

236
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:47,540
What time do you call this? It's nearly
eight minutes past seven. Look, Mum,

237
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:51,039
there's a Londoner that doesn't sleep,
you know. Yes, and it's been up all

238
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,270
wondering whether to take up smoking
again.

239
00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:55,999
Maxine, don't you think it's time you
went home?

240
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,940
I was getting bad karma anyway.

241
00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,630
Why then?

242
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,320
Where have you been? Everywhere.

243
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,740
Sonic Mook, Wawa, Psycho Bubble, Shinky
Blinky.

244
00:15:05,741 --> 00:15:07,579
Oh, God, you've been sniffing something.

245
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:09,949
Babble in car wash. They hold you with
foam there.

246
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,269
They have clubs, Mrs Porter.

247
00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:12,350
We've done it all, Mum.

248
00:15:12,570 --> 00:15:15,690
Techno, flavour, jungle, garage, handbag
house.

249
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:17,060
Handbag house?

250
00:15:17,061 --> 00:15:18,849
Then we ended up at the screen machine.

251
00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:20,290
What a sound system.

252
00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:24,270
They say, if you stand in the right
position long enough, your eardrums

253
00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:26,710
Then we went to a transvestite club.

254
00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,040
A what?

255
00:15:28,070 --> 00:15:29,650
Excuse me, I think I go to bed now.

256
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:32,170
Yes, Fabrizio, you have a nice lie down.

257
00:15:32,461 --> 00:15:34,489
Transvestite club?

258
00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:35,870
Where men dress up as women?

259
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,090
No, the other way round.

260
00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:38,850
Where men dress up as men?

261
00:15:39,841 --> 00:15:44,629
The money I've been saving from the
pizza round.

262
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:46,620
I'd have had more if I'd have chosen a
13.

263
00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:48,610
What do you mean, chosen a 13?

264
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,170
Well, we went to a casino.

265
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,950
Actually, I waited outside while
Fabrizio played for us.

266
00:15:53,951 --> 00:15:56,089
He didn't seem to have trouble getting
in.

267
00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:58,310
But you were saving up for a new
computer.

268
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,010
Yeah. Sad, isn't it?

269
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:05,249
I can't believe you've done this. All
those months risking your neck in the

270
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:08,710
on that bike, blown in one night. Yes,
blown in one night.

271
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,140
And you know what?

272
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:12,000
It was fantastic.

273
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,860
Know what Fabrizio taught me?

274
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,760
How to live for the moment.

275
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,010
And he's right.

276
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,780
I'm 17, for God's sake. I'm getting old.

277
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,179
And if I do get killed on my bike
tomorrow delivering pizzas, what have I

278
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:26,230
show for it?

279
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,330
I've done nothing.

280
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,090
So thanks.

281
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,330
Thanks a bunch.

282
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,470
Does living for the moment include
stealing other people's girlfriends?

283
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,480
She wasn't my type anyway.

284
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,370
Still engaged.

285
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,760
So, what's he going to do?

286
00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:51,399
I don't know.

287
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:55,439
He's a guest in our house, but he's
disrupting our entire family. Everything

288
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,670
touches seems to turn to terrible
argument.

289
00:16:57,671 --> 00:17:00,179
Well, I think you should give it to him
straight.

290
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:03,099
He's obviously driving you mad. You
can't let it build up. No, I think you

291
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:05,759
should just cool down and forget the
whole thing. I mean, he's going home

292
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,140
tomorrow. What's the point?

293
00:17:07,141 --> 00:17:09,939
Rubbish! You've got to lay down the law
to people like that.

294
00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:10,990
Best to let it lie.

295
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,200
Tony, he's driving her mad.

296
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,240
What's the sense of making it worse?

297
00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:16,889
I don't get angry.

298
00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:18,460
I am not getting angry.

299
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,920
Yes, you are. Who are you?

300
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,300
No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

301
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:22,470
No, I'm not. You are.

302
00:17:22,471 --> 00:17:26,838
Do you see what we're doing? Before I
mentioned Fabritio, you were about to

303
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,219
organise a romantic dinner.

304
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,360
Sorry. Where are you going, anyway?

305
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,610
Mario's, you know, one of the high
street.

306
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,270
Rona likes the waiter with the pepper
grinder.

307
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,040
I'll give him another try.

308
00:17:42,041 --> 00:17:48,439
I'm sure you'll be all right. Yes, I've
worked it all out. I've just got time to

309
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,739
get to the lock -up, mix the sponge
mixes and get them all cooked before tea

310
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:52,790
time. Thanks.

311
00:17:52,791 --> 00:17:56,079
I'm due at the hairdresser's at 12 and
being touched up by Noel. Oh, you'll be

312
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,299
the only woman who ever has been. Don't
worry. I've just got enough time to do

313
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,350
it all comfortably.

314
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:07,540
Please, can you take this for dry clean
and back by five at latest?

315
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:12,769
Should I do it? No, I'll do it. But when
I get back, I... I think I'll have to

316
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:16,410
have a few words with Master Fabrizio
Scarpetta.

317
00:18:23,021 --> 00:18:24,889
No, Bill!

318
00:18:24,890 --> 00:18:25,940
Bill, wait!

319
00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:27,340
Oh, hell.

320
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:30,330
He's just handed me these.

321
00:18:30,331 --> 00:18:33,029
I mean, look at them. They've been dead
too long. What am I supposed to do with

322
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:36,640
them? It's only in me if we don't get
through to Mario's restaurant soon.

323
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,110
Mario's in High Street?

324
00:18:39,111 --> 00:18:41,479
Yeah, we're trying to book a table there
for this evening.

325
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,199
They're probably busy serving lunch.

326
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,820
I'll book you one more, will you?

327
00:18:53,891 --> 00:19:00,599
Mr. Porter, maybe this is not a good
idea. Oh, think of it as a last -day

328
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:04,019
We'll get a bit homesick now, and then
this will buck you up. Ah, good day,

329
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,179
Hello. First of all, I'd like to book a
table for two of my friends for tonight.

330
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,019
Ah, yes.

331
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:11,020
And this is a friend of mine from
Naples. Please, Mr. Porter.

332
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:36,720
What's he saying? I think he confused me
with someone else.

333
00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:40,890
Well, I mean, I don't know if I look
like a picture of your dad up there.

334
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,020
Madonna. No, it's nothing like her.

335
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:04,810
Arrosto di maiale? Arrosto di maiale!

336
00:20:05,710 --> 00:20:08,330
Shrimp? Shrimp! No, no, I'm not
hungry, please.

337
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:10,710
What do we do for you?

338
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,550
We do it all! We do anything!
Anything, huh?

339
00:20:13,830 --> 00:20:16,710
For the spider's son there is nothing
impossible.

340
00:20:17,730 --> 00:20:19,490
You say Rona come here tonight?

341
00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:20,760
Well,

342
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,450
there would actually be one thing.

343
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:27,449
They are two friends of mine who are coming to
eat this evening. It can do for them

344
00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:28,890
special table?

345
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:30,420
And maybe some music.

346
00:20:30,421 --> 00:20:31,549
Ah, music.

347
00:20:31,550 --> 00:20:32,600
Yes, of course.

348
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:39,340
Lobster.

349
00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:41,380
Cumbery.

350
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:42,890
So, you know it, don't you?

351
00:20:42,891 --> 00:20:44,149
You don't know?

352
00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:45,510
He's known in all of Italy.

353
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:48,509
Yeah, well, he hasn't been in Chiswick
lately, so fill me in, eh? You haven't

354
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:50,010
heard of Giovanni Scarpetta?

355
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,490
They tried to kidnap his son last year.

356
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:56,950
Kidnap? Yes, Scarpetta. He's the boss,
il capo. Number one.

357
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,140
You have a nickname.

358
00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:01,310
Irrano. The spider.

359
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:05,550
Number one. The boss.

360
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:10,750
Stomping. No, no, no, no. Please, don't
say anything. Otherwise...

361
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:31,639
rats and the best of squiggly diddly.

362
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,930
Oh dear, the picture quality's not that
good.

363
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,970
I've got to have a look at the heads.
Oh, there we go.

364
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,480
It's very kind of you.

365
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,660
Hello, Fabrizio.

366
00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:50,400
Mrs. Porter, is it possible tomorrow you
wake me at half past six?

367
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:55,460
Also, I would prefer not to fry
breakfast because I'll be sick in the

368
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,740
Maybe just some yoghurt.

369
00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:01,729
Like boiled?

370
00:22:01,730 --> 00:22:03,840
And is it possible you make the
soldiers?

371
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,520
Fabrizio. Oh, and Gina's tonight. What
is?

372
00:22:06,590 --> 00:22:10,169
Now, listen to me. I don't know what
sort of family you come from, but us

373
00:22:10,170 --> 00:22:14,529
humble, God -fearing peasants here in
Chiswick do boring things like play fair

374
00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:17,489
and work hard to put their kids through
college so they can earn an honest

375
00:22:17,490 --> 00:22:21,589
living. And I will not have that
derailed by some aspiring Casanova who

376
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,589
around more plastic than Pamela
Anderson.

377
00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:28,159
Now, I don't mind ironing your shirt.
starching your cuffs and sprinkling

378
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:32,339
on your cappuccino. But what I do mind
is seeing my son goaded into behaving

379
00:22:32,340 --> 00:22:35,699
irresponsibly, having his trust abused
and his girlfriend swiped from under his

380
00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:39,179
nose. Now, if you want 24 -hour room
service, you can check into the Park

381
00:22:39,180 --> 00:22:43,239
building. In fact, for dinner here
tonight, there is zero, zut, niente,

382
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,550
I've been working hard all day and the
kitchen staff are on strike.

383
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,220
And what are you doing? Nothing.

384
00:22:48,221 --> 00:22:51,379
Right, let's lay out the way. Why don't
I pop down the Tiger Lily and get us a

385
00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:53,099
king prawn satay and some noodles?

386
00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:59,419
Finn! Maybe if you're... I said
something earlier. I... Well, I'm saying

387
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,470
something now.

388
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,000
I... I think I must go now.

389
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:16,040
Right. Well done. Get packing. What are
you talking about?

390
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:17,940
I know it is. Whose father is?

391
00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:21,210
Who? Oh, come on, Bill. The money, the
clothes, the casinos.

392
00:23:21,211 --> 00:23:23,839
His family name's Skullpetter. They all
knew him down at the restaurant. There's

393
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,459
a whacking great picture of Popper on
the wall. They're all in awe of him.

394
00:23:26,460 --> 00:23:27,219
who is he?

395
00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:28,780
How many more clues do you need?

396
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:30,200
His dad's the spider.

397
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,540
Marlon Brando with a mouthful of
marshmallows.

398
00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:37,270
Sugar!

399
00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:06,550
What are you two doing?

400
00:24:06,551 --> 00:24:09,669
That friend of yours you've been going
round with for the past week, do you

401
00:24:09,670 --> 00:24:10,720
who that is?

402
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:22,019
much to say thank you to mr and mrs
porter we have oysters and pig's head

403
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:27,319
don't worry we can always have seconds
and we have music

404
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:32,999
you want to take you back to the
restaurant well we're in the party mood

405
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,060
aren't we rona come on i think we should
go inside and check

406
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,230
You will say goodbye to Mr and Mrs
Porter for me, won't you?

407
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,860
I'm sorry they're still so angry.

408
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:10,450
Oh, I'm sure they'll be all right by
now. Thank you so much for last night.

409
00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:17,700
Did you, er... Well, actually, we,
erm... C 'est lente.

410
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:20,350
Ciao, Luna.

411
00:26:21,511 --> 00:26:23,339
Oh, yeah.

412
00:26:23,340 --> 00:26:24,480
Uncle Tony as well, eh?

413
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:28,210
This is fine.

414
00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:38,180
Thank you.

415
00:26:39,010 --> 00:26:40,450
That'll be terminal two.

416
00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:43,830
Fabrizio Scarpetta.

417
00:26:44,090 --> 00:26:45,270
Oh, please.

418
00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:47,130
Odd label. I should have changed.

419
00:26:47,970 --> 00:26:49,020
Scarpetta.

420
00:26:49,430 --> 00:26:52,870
No relation to Giovanni Scarpetta. My
father.

421
00:26:53,210 --> 00:26:55,090
You're the son of Scarpetta?

422
00:26:55,470 --> 00:26:56,520
The spider?

423
00:26:56,590 --> 00:26:57,910
The Juventus goalkeeper?

424
00:26:58,070 --> 00:26:59,570
Yes. Well, please.

425
00:26:59,810 --> 00:27:02,210
I don't want any trouble.

426
00:27:02,510 --> 00:27:03,560
I'm not surprised.

427
00:27:03,730 --> 00:27:04,930
You saved two penalties.

428
00:27:05,310 --> 00:27:07,050
Stopped us getting into the finals.

429
00:27:14,210 --> 00:27:16,890
Where are they?

430
00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:24,650
I think I heard a car leaving.

431
00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:26,830
That's what they want us to think.

432
00:27:27,390 --> 00:27:28,810
I want to go to the toilet.

433
00:27:28,811 --> 00:27:30,719
She'll be safe by next Thursday.

434
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,270
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